writing portfolio - script

Choosing the Most Nutritious Food for My Health: Choosing a Career that Best Suits Me,
A Database Administrator.
Eugene J. Bock
Ms. R. Johnson
Writing 1
19 March 2007
872 words











Some people wake up in the morning with hope and expectation to have an enjoyable time at work while at the same time other people are just forcing themselves out of your bed to your office for another monotonous day working for money. Many individuals tend to consider their income as the first priority when choosing a job. However, people must consider their gifted talents, personal pursuit, values, and sometimes even religious belief when selecting a career. It is because it is extremely hard for a person to stay with a job that is against his or her personal will but guarantees high income. Spending 8 hours a day staring at the subject you dislike the most seems pretty disappointing to me, at least. Thus, I looked for a proper career in the future that best fits with my characteristics considering my talents and personality. My personal interest and preference in math led to a career called a mathematician, but since it had too broad image of a career, I have sought a more specified job from a mathematician. Through Kiersey, Occupation Finder, Bureau of Labor Statistics, and an interview, I have discovered that a database administrator is an appropriate career in the future for me for various reasons.

I value success and confidence the most in life. Wealth is not what I think success is all about. I think feeling satisfaction and pride in whatever I do is a successful life. Competition is also very crucial for me because I feel like lack of competition leads to lack of motivation or inefficiency of work, in my case. Although I never thought I am talented in arts, I enjoy seeing the artworks. My other personal interests are sports, including soccer and basketball, and computer. I have interests and talents in math and computer, which highly affect my future job the most. I am also
strong on science because the subject is highly related to mathematics. Most surveys or tests were to draw my characteristics. I have leadership that I can control over many people: “a superleader” (Kiersey 2). I also value efficiency or work and like to give a persuasive speech: “You are a decisive and outspoken person” (Kiersey 2). I like to dig into some topic and study with concentration. I am not a person who dreams of a wonderful life: “You are realistic, investigative, and enterprising” (Holland, The Occupational Finder2).

Two types of mathematicians gave me a more specific direction to choosing which one I would prefer. There are two kinds of mathematicians: “a theoretical (pure) mathematician and an applied mathematician (Mathematicians). A theoretical mathematician literally studies and researches about the nature of the number or of a theory. Yet, applied mathematicians are the ones whose jobs are highly associated with mathematics but not totally. The examples are “engineers, computer scientists, physicists, and economists are among those who use mathematics extensively” (Mathematicians).

My preference was an applied mathematician, and a database administrator’s qualification matched up with my interests and skills. Database administrators “store, manage, and extract data effectively” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). Database administrators design creative “ways to organize and present the data they have” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). What they do is they “identify user requirements, set up computer databases, and test and coordinate modifications to the computer database systems” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). Essential educational backgrounds are “a bachelor’s degree in computer science, information science, or management information systems (MIS)”
(Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). Other requirements are: “to be able to think logically and to have good communication skills” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). I am qualified since my leadership and mathematical skill will help me with logical thinking and persuasive speech capability. Database Administrators have favorable job outlook. “Computer scientists and database administrators are expected to be among the fastest growing occupations through 2014” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators). According to Mr. Hong, a database administrator that I interviewed said, “The annual income in Korea is around $30,000” (Hong). In the states, the annual salary is about “$60,650 in May 2004” (Computer Scientists and Database Administrators).

A database administrator certainly was a job for me. It was because I love to organize my idea or do something with my computer like my homework. Moreover, I have learned one of the computer programs, Microsoft excel, when I was in Korean middle school, and I have found it interesting since I had learned how to arrange and classify the data I have to present in a creative way. I also think that it relates to my talent and my personal interest because computer has a lot of things to do with numbers and accuracy. I have high interest in computer and math, which positively motivate me to dive into the job, computer scientists. Furthermore, I think I will not get bored easily with my career because I am doing what I choose to. Bright outlook of the job and favorable competition stimulate myself to work harder. My skill in math will also help study the field efficiently. Thus, I think a database administrator is a great job for me to try out in the future as it fits with my personal concerns, and my capabilities.


Works Cited:
"Computer Scientists and Database Administrators." Occupational Outlook Handbook. 16 Jan 2007. U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics. 17 Mar 2007 .
Holland, John L. Assessment Booklet: A Guide to Educational and Career Planning. Lutz: Psychological Assessment Resources, Inc., 2000.
Holland, John L. The Occupational Finder. Lutz: Psychological Assessment Resources, Inc., 2000.
Kiersey, David, Please Understand Me II: Temperament Character Intelligence. Del Mar: Prometheus Nemesis Book Company, 1998.
"Mathematicians." Occupational Outlook Handbook. 04 Aug 2006. U.S. Department of Labor,2 Bureau of Labor Statistics. 13 Mar 2007 .
Hong, Jin. Personal interview. 13 Mar 2007.

writing portfolio - career essay

Goal
by

Eugene J. Bock
Ms. Ronnie Johnson
Writing 1
17. May. 2007
40 scenes
















EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST

An excellent and exuberant but a little bit nerdy student, FREDRICK MAGOON, comes to the soccer field of Notre Dame high school in Manchester city in England to watch a soccer game.

Little freshman Fredrick sits on the seat for the audience with his nerdy glasses and y-shirts.

PATRICK PARK, an outstanding soccer player who is now a senior, impresses all the girls by his awesome soccer skills.

Patrick leads the team to a victory. Fredrick couldn’t close his mouth and look at others whenever Patrick had the ball. He imagines himself playing soccer like a cool athlete.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

A) His team makes a circle before a game, and everyone gets pumped up by cheering up.
B) Wearing a yellow armband, he shakes hands with the captain of the other team.
C) He dribbles all the way through the goal, and makes an awesome goal.
D) All the girls are so impressed, shouting and yelling.

But when he thinks of the reality…

SERIES OF SHOTS:

A) He wakes up at five for additional study.
B) He hands in all the homework with high qualityC) Frowning at the noisy boys who interrupt during class.D) Runs back to home right after school for the new assignments he got from school.
E) Not a girl is ever talking to him because of the image of a nerd.

He wants to escape from the image of a nerd. Then he soon decides…

FREDRICK (soliloquy)
Why don’t I try?
I could be as cool as Patrick if I practice hard. Let me give it a try!

He tightens his fist with determination.

Fredrick comes back at home with a totally different mind. He looks up on internet for the soccer equipments.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
SLOW
Fredrick practices soccer after school, and many are surprised that he is exercising. Some tease him because he sucks, but he does not care.


INT. – AT FREDRICK’S HOME – NIGHT
SLOW
Finally he made into the varsity soccer team. He is so pleased to be in the same team with Patrick, and thanks God for the opportunity. He decides to give his best everyday at practice to impress the coach MR. GU. Mr. Gu has been the soccer coach of this school for more than 5 years, and his motto has never changed; practice makes the difference. Unfortunately his team never won a season yet. He knows that he is not going to be the starter right away, but he still has hope.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
The coach over-trains the players, so all the players are all exhausted. But the coach shows no interests in the players’ condition. Even Patrick seems to feel the tiredness. But Fredrick never gives up.


EXT. – AT A CHANGING ROOM – DAY
SLOW
After the practice when everyone has used all their energy, the coach suddenly came into the changing room. Everyone stopped what they have been doing since the coach has never come into the changing room before. Thus it makes the players think he came here for a very important thing. Yes. The coach came to tell the starters for tomorrow’s game. Unfortunately, Fredrick was not selected as a starter, but he is not frustrated.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – NIGHT
SLOW

Fredrick practices at the soccer field even after the tiring practice.

Patrick came out of the changing room and was about to leave for home, but finds a person practicing on the field. He wonders who it is, so he goes closer to the person. He finds out that it is Fredrick.

FREDRICK (soliloquy)
Ah, I can’t do anything. Pass, shooting, ball controlling… everything’s too hard for me. I need help from someone. But who…?

He sees Patrick coming out from the changing room and hesitates whether to ask for help or not.

FREDRICK (soliloquy)
Oh that’s Patrick! It’d be nice if I get help from my role model. Should I? Or Should I not? Well getting help will be obviously better just like tutoring math works well.

Fredrick waves his hands to draw attention.


FREDRICK
Pat, can you help me with controlling the ball a little bit?

PATRICK
Sure, wait a second.

Patrick puts his soccer shoes on again to show some examples.

PATRICK
So, what’s the problem?

FREDRICK
I… I can’t do anything. I can’t shoot hard, I can’t pass accurately, and I can’t even trap the ball safely to my side. What do I have to do?

PATRICK
Well, when did you start playing soccer?

FREDRICK
Um.. like a few months ago?

PATRICK
Only? You’re not bad then because you need a lot of time to get used to playing with the ball. But to improve, kick the ball against the wall? It will help you trap the ball, pass to yourself, and shoot hard. Also, when you pass, it is more accurate for you to pass with your inside.

FREDRICK
Thanks a lot.

Patrick demonstrated some examples, and Fredrick pays attention to every single detail he demonstrates. His eyes are only focused on the ball.

INT. – AT FREDRICK’S HOME – DAWN
SLOW
Fredrick wakes up at 5 o’ clock and heads to the playground near his house to practice what he learned from Patrick last night so as not to forget them. He does not hesitate to fall asleep again, and goes to brush his teeth. He leaves with passion. His mom is worried if he would be too tired to concentrate during classes, but she has faith in him.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAWN
FAST
He does feel tired, but the hope that he might be able to play with him gives him vigor and energy. He practices juggling, passing to the wall, shooting, and trapping, which he learned yesterday. He comes back at home after one and a half hour of practice. He takes a shower, eats breakfast, and goes to school. He falls asleep during class that surprised the teachers.


INT. – AT KITCHEN OF FREDRICK’S HOME - DAY
SLOW

Fredrick just came back from the practice, and he goes to the kitchen for snack.

He opens the refrigerator, and realizes there is nothing to eat. He sighs, and asks mom if she could make him a toast, but her reaction seems weird. She looks like she is angry at him.

FREDRICK
Mom? What’s wrong? Did anything bad happen to you?

MOM
Yes, and the cause is you, Fredrick! Actually I would like to discuss with you about something seriously.

FREDRICK
Can we talk after I have my toast? I am so hungry because of practice.

MOM
That’s the problem, that’s the cause of everything!

FREDRICK
What? I’m sorry I don’t get what you mean.

MOM
Come to your room, and we will have a talk.

Fredrick moves to his room, thinking and thinking again what he did wrong. He has no clue that makes him feel like he is in a labyrinth.


INT – AT FREDRICK’S ROOM – DAY
MOM
Let me get straight to the point. What happened to your midterm grades? It’s been getting worse and never seems to recover.

FREDRICK
Um… that’s because IB classes are too hard for me. Sorry mom.

MOM
No, that’s not the excuse. It’s because you don’t concentrate during classes.

FREDRICK
Yes I do mom. I try my best at school.

MOM
Do not try to fool me my son ‘cause that makes me even angrier. Do you know what teachers said at Parent Teacher Conference? I went there today and I am so
shocked I couldn’t read a book.

FREDRICK
What did I do wrong?

MOM
Many teachers have agreed that your attitude has changed. You sleep during class, do not pay attention, look out the window, or do something distractive. Do you know why?

FREDRICK
Um… no I don’t.

Fredrick did not want to say it is because of soccer. He tries to pretend as if he really does not know anything.

MOM
Yes you do! It is all because of soccer. Your grades started to go down ever since you started playing soccer. So, quit it!

FREDRICK
Mom I can’t do that. It has become my dream. Please, I will work better. Please mom…

MOM
Well my answer has to be a no. I am sorry, but please go to the coach and tell him that you can not play anymore because of mom.

FREDRICK
That’s not gonna happen. I’m not quitting ever, although I will work harder. Mom can you please give me a last chance?


MOM
If teachers don’t say anything different from this time at next Parent Teacher Conference, you will have to enjoy the consequence.

FREDRICK
Thank you mom! I love you. Um… I have a question though.

MOM
What is it?

FREDRICK
Can you now toast me bread with peanut butter and strawberry jam on it? It’s my favorite. And I am even hungrier than ever.

MOM
Okay my son. Go study in your room, then I will get it to you.

FREDRICK
Thank you mom.

Fredrick leaves the kitchen, scampers to his room.


INT. – AT HOME – DAY
SLOW
Fredrick plays a video game at home with his friends during the weekend. Obviously it is a soccer game, and Fredrick mastered all the strategies and skills in the game. When his friends went back to home, he reads a book on a cozy sofa. He enjoys resting and determines to play soccer consistently hard.


INT. – AT THE CHANGING ROOM – DAY
SLOW
It is the day of the first game, and everyone is willing to start the season with a victory. All the players including
the bench members gather around at the changing room and encourage each other by shouting.


EXT. – AT THE BENCH SIDE – DAY
SLOW
Fredrick sits on the bench, and appreciates for being able to see the game closer than the audience, rather than complaining for not being a starter. His positive attitude remains till the end of the game where many other players got to play but not him.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
Everyone is all encouraged because the first game ended with victory and many other bench members got to play. The positive atmosphere remains till the second game. Everyone motivates each other for another victory.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
Because of the overwhelming superiority of the game, even Fredrick gets to play this time. So anxious, first he makes some stupid mistakes. After that, he realized this is a real game that if very important even though his team is winning by 5 points. He makes some good passes to other players that impressed the coach.


INT. – AT HOME – NIGHT
SLOW
He came back after the game, and thinks what he has done wrong and correct today. He reminds himself of the mistakes he has made, and says to himself he will not make the same mistakes during the third game if the opportunity comes.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
Unfortunately the opportunity does not come to anyone of the bench members because the game was so tough and tight that the coach could not make any subs to test the ability of the bench warmers and compare it with the starters. The Eagles allowed the first goal too soon that all the members had to play hard until the last minute of the game to win.


INT. – AT THE CHANGING ROOM – DAY
SLOW

STARTERS
Oh my word, it was such a hard game. I think I ran the most today in my whole entire life.

The guy I had been marking was so big and fast. I can’t even feel anything on my legs.

My knee hurts so badly!!

Why?

‘Cause I bumped with someone. I don’t even remember who it was because I got so surprised.

I’m so tired that I can hardly walk back home.

So am I. I am so exhausted, literally.

Hey, do you remember when we almost let them make the goal in? I barely stopped it.

The ball looked like it went in from the bench side.

Yeah! We could surely tell that the game was tough.

Dude, my toe is bleeding, and I did not even know until now. I got to go to the nurse office now.

Well good luck.

PATRICK
It was a tough game. Good job though guys.

Patrick is taciturn. It seems like he does not even have strength to speak.

Patrick leaves, and other players begin to leave also. The atmosphere is not so good since they barely won the game.


INT. – AT MR. GU’S OFFICE – DAY
SLOW
This time Mr. Gu knows that it would have been hard for kids to play a 90 minute of a soccer game, and realizes some starters are not as good as they were after the game. He thinks of changing the starting members, and the first priority, Fredrick, comes up to his mind. He has been impressed by his efforts. Mr. Gu draws a soccer field and the members on a sheet of paper, and check if the change is going to work. Mr. Gu decides to take a risk to win the fourth game.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
SLOW

While all players were busy getting changed and wearing their soccer shoes, Mr. Gu suddenly came into the changing room.


Everyone looks at him at surprise.

Sudden silence dominates the changing room. Mr. Gu speaks up, breaking the silence.

MR. GU
Why do you think I am here guys?

Everyone looks at each other, wondering.

Um... To cheer up?

MR. GU
Nope. Any other guesses?

Silence. Mr. Gu speaks up to tell them the answer.

MR. GU
No one? It is okay though. I came into this room in order to tell you guys the starting members of today.

You do that at the field 30 minutes before the game starts usually though. Why is it different today?

MR. GU
Because I made a difference! Fredrick, you are starting off today.

FREDRICK
What?!

Everyone turns their head toward Fredrick and gazes at him at surprise.

Fredrick himself is also totally surprised that he could not believe what he just heard.

MR. GU
And… You’re out Greg. I was concerned about your injury, and I want you to play with your full condition on the field every time. So just watch this game curing your knee.

GREG
Okay…

Greg looks down at the ground after a deep sigh.

MR. GU
I’m done with what I am to say. Lets have fun today guys.

Mr. Gu leaves the room, and the room is filled with awkward mood.

Fredrick, however, is fully prepared, and heads out to the field to get warmed up.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
The Eagles barely won the fourth game by Fredrick’s constant effort to make good passes and Patrick’s strong desire to score.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
SLOW
After the game ended, everyone cheers up and encourages each other for putting their best effort at the field.


EXT. – AT A PLAYGROUND – DAWN
FAST
Fredrick diligently practices at the playground even one day after the tough game.


EXT. – AT A PLAYGROUND – DAWN
SLOW

Fredrick diligently moves himself to the playground to practice.

After wearing his soccer shoes, he starts practicing his passes and shots, forgetting to do warm-ups.

Fredrick suddenly falls down while practicing his shots.

Fredrick covers his right knee with his hands. He frowns and is surprised at the pain.

FREDRICK
Oh my gosh! It hurts so badly. Maybe I got injured. Oh God, why now? I’ve got a game after a few days!

He tries to bend his knee, and he feels pain whenever he is doing so.

FREDRICK
Gosh it seems pretty serious. What should I do?

Still covering his knee, he stays on the ground to think what he should do with this situation.

The pain gradually subsided as time passes.

He gets up, and carefully walks back into home.

MOM
Why are you walking like that my son? Did you get injured or something?

FREDRICK
I don’t know mom. I was just practicing my shots, and I felt a bitter pain on my knee.

MOM
Maybe we should go to the hospital some time during this week.

FREDRICK
That’s a good idea mom. Let me take a shower now. Is the breakfast ready?

MOM
Of course. Be quick my son.

FREDRICK
Okay mom.

Fredrick goes into the restroom and takes a shower. He eats breakfast after that, and then heads to the school.


INT. – AT HOME – DAWN
SLOW
He comes back at home, and decides to give up on the morning practices.


INT. – AT SCHOOL – DAY
SLOW
He goes to the nurse’s office to wrap his knee up, and decides not to tell about this issue to the coach since there are only two games till the end of the season.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
He goes to the field as a starter, and he checks his knee if it is fine. He warms up with other players. He feels much less pain on his knee which comforted him.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
He plays tough against the other team, and he starts to feel his pain on his knee during game, but does not tell the coach which worsened his injury.


INT. – AT A HOSPITAL – AFTERNOON
FAST
He visits an orthopedics for a check-up right after the game


INT. – AT A HOSPITAL – AFTERNOON
SLOW

Fredrick enters into the room with anxiety. He cautiously speaks up.

FREDRICK
Hi.

DOCTOR
Hi. How can I help you?

FREDRICK
I want to know what happened to my knee and how serious it is.

DOCTOR
Let me show you what happened to your knee through the result of X-Ray inspection.
As you can see, none of your bones in your legs are broken.

FREDRICK
Then why does my knee hurt so much every time I try to bend it?

DOCTOR
Right. It is because you pulled your ligament in your knee. It seems like your ligament may have even been torn.

FREDRICK
That is definitely frustrating. Does that mean I might have to quit playing soccer?

DOCTOR
For 6 months at least, yeah.

FREDRICK
SIX months? Our season is going to end in less than two weeks.

DOCTOR
That is sad to hear. But, for your safety, you shouldn’t use any of your ligaments in your knee from now on for protection and recovery.

FREDRICK
No I can’t do that. No. Is there any ways I can play for two weeks and no get hurt?

DOCTOR
Definitely not, if you hurt your knee more than this, I can not assure you what‘s going to happen to your knee in the nearly future.

FREDRICK
I will have to think about it. Thank you for your advice.

DOCTOR
You should take the crutches over there when you leave. Thank you.

FREDRICK
Thank you. Bye.

Fredrick leaves the room with a deep sigh. He looks gloomily at the ground. He trudges back to home.


INT. – AT HOME – NIGHT
SLOW
His anxiety remains after he gets back to home. His final decision is to play the last game with everything he has left even though his knee will seriously get hurt.


INT. – AT A CLASSROOM – DAY
SLOW
During class he sees the bus of the Thacher School coming inside the parking area. He feels both anxiety and excitement.


INT. – AT A CHANGING ROOM – DAY
FAST
He runs into the changing room right after his class was dismissed to get ready for the game. He does not care about his pain anymore. Patrick prays to God for power, and everyone seems to be ready to change the history of the school today.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
Everyone fights very hard after the game started. The chance of the Eagles to win this game does not seem to be slim.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
SLOW
While Fredrick had a very good chance to score, a defender tackled him badly that made him get subbed out. The problem is that Fredrick’s injury got worse by this unexpected attack.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
After putting muscle rub on his knee, Fredrick gets in again to a game for the victory. Everyone fought hard, but no one scored, which led to a sudden death.


EXT. – AT THE BENCH SIDE – DAY
SLOW
Everyone is tired and hydrating themselves, but no one is ever willing to give up the chance they got right now. They cheer each other up for the triumph.


EXT. – AT A SOCCER FIELD – DAY
FAST
By Fredrick’s good pass and Patrick’s fantastic goal, the game ends with happiness to the Eagles. They have changed the history!


INT. – AT A HOSPITAL – NIGHT
SLOW

He feels guilty to go into the room again for the same reason. At the same time, he is anxious if the injury got even worse. He gently opens the door after a deep sigh.

FREDRICK
Hi.

DOCTOR
Hi. Are you here for the same reason as last time?

In a very low voice, Fredrick replies.

FREDRICK
Um… yes. Sorry. I played soccer after your warning,
and I think it hurts a little bit more than it usually does.

DOCTOR
I am not very pleased to hear that.

FREDRICK
I am so sorry. I couldn’t give up playing soccer.

DOCTOR
Okay… But how did you endure the pain during the games?

FREDRICK
I put muscle rub on my knee before the games.

DOCTOR
That couldn’t have been enough. It is incredible that you went through all the pain during games, but it is not always a good thing. I guess you need another check-up. Can I see your knee again?

FREDRICK
Sure.

DOCTOR
If I bend your knee this much, does it hurt?

FREDRICK
(frowning)
Ouch! I can’t bend anymore. It even hurts when I try to leave my legs straight.

DOCTOR
Well… we will have to go through a more specific examination, but it seems to me like it is difficult to
recover your ligament. I might have to cut it out.

FREDRICK
What? Is it that serious?

DOCTOR
I told you it will become worse.

FREDRICK
But…

DOCTOR
We can talk about this after the examination. Follow me.

FREDRICK
Okay..

Fredrick follows him. His heart beats fast.

They go through the examination and the doctor tells him he can not play soccer anymore for the rest of his life.

DOCTOR
Well I am sorry to tell you this sad truth, but you can not play any sports in the future due to the weak knee.

FREDRICK
For the rest of my life…?

DOCTOR
Yes sorry. Bye.

FREDRICK
Bye.

Tears almost roll over his cheek. He makes a fake smile on his face as if nothing happened. He heads back to home without thinking anything.

At home, he comforts himself as finishing up the season well although he earned the permanent injury.

Thinking of the celebration that will be held tomorrow, Fredrick falls asleep with joy.


EXT. – AT THE PODIUM – DAY
SLOW

Students are dismissed, but many students stay on campus to watch the celebration and the awards of the soccer season.

People busily start to sit on the chairs around the podium few minutes before the celebration begins.

All the soccer players of the season enter with the trophy on Patrick’s hands.

Coach Mr. Gu shakes hands with the president of the school.
The audience sits down, and the celebration begins.

The boring and expected awards are given to the selected players.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE SCHOOL
Next, the most improved player from the 2006-2007 seasons is, Fredrick Magoon. Give him a hand please.

Surprised, everyone scrutinizes at Fredrick, and he does not know what to do. But soon students celebrate his improvement by the applause.

With a springy step, Fredrick went up to the podium. Fredrick shakes hands with the president. He has such a bright smile on his face.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE SCHOOL
And… here is the last one. This award is given to the best player who has great leadership throughout the game. The MVP, the most valuable player, from the 2006-2007 seasons of the Eagles, is – Patrick Park! Give him a hand please.

As if everyone was waiting for, they all applauded. With the trophy, Patrick confidently walks into the podium and gives a short speech how it was like to be in the soccer team and how it feels to win a season.

Even the friends who teased him before sincerely celebrated his improvement.

Fredrick and Patrick hug each other, and everyone applauds. Cut to black

Credit rolls.

Process Essay

The way students can fill their hunger when their mothers are not at home
The five steps of making ramyon


You feel exhausted and starving after school, so you hustle to your home to eat delicious
­snack your mom would provide. But when you arrived at home, you soon find out that your
mom went out, and that she will be gone for hours. Then how should you fill your hunger?
Would you have to wait for your mom? The answer I will say is "No." Instead, you should make
ramyon to fulfill your desire. Ramyon is a popular Korean instant noodle with a little spicy soup.
It is quick, cheap, simple to make, and yet delicious. Five minutes is enough to make delicious
ramyon. You do not have to be a skilled cook or have expensive equipments at all. And the
coolest thing is that you no longer need your mom for snacks. You will be proud of yourself that
you made your own snack. There are basically five steps of making ram yon.
Before you begin making ram yon, what you should first do is to check if you have all the
necessary materials. You need two iron pots, chopstick, water, and ram yon packet that you can
buy from a supermarket for 500 won. You can also bring kimchi and rice if you want to. Next,
gently peel off the packet. That is it for the first step.
When you have all the equipments, the second step is to put the iron pots over a fire. You
must make sure that you have permission from your mom to use fire and that it is safe to use it.
Then put 550 milliliter of water in both pots. Putting accurate amount of water will make the
soup and noodles taste better, so be as accurate as possible. Next, start boiling the water in the
pots, and make sure to close the pots with lids, so the water will not evaporate as it is heated up. Now get ready to proceed to the most important part.
When water is boiling briskly, put ramyon sauce and the noodles into the two separated pots, which is the third step. Be very careful when you put the noodles in. Do not ever just drop
it from air like a bungee jump because splash of hot water will hurt you. This process is certainly
the most important part because when to put noodles into water determines the taste. If you put itin too soon, the noodles will just taste like soft eraser dust; however, if you put it in too late, thenit will taste like crunchy grits dipped in water for a while, and you would never want that kind ofnoodles especially when you are hungry. Go to the next step if you grabbed chopstick.
The fourth step is stirring the noodles clockwise with chopstick, so they will be soft. Also
do not forget to spread the ram yon sauce to help the soup taste better. Usually it takes around
three to four minutes for the noodles to become soft. You are definitely fine to proceed to the
next step if you see the soft ram yon noodles and reddish soup.
Not many people know this fifth strategy besides my family. What you have to do is to
take out the water in the pot that has noodles in, and to put the noodles into the pot that has
ramyon soup. The noodles get less oily by this process. Now you are done making ram yon if you
stir and spread the noodles out calmly. Now it is time for you to enjoy your snack that you have
made in five minutes. Pick the noodles up and blow on, so you will not bum your mouth, and
enjoy it. You could eat ram yon with kimchi if you think Korean food suits you. It is also possible
for you to put rice in the soup if you are very hungry. You may make ram yon whenever you feel hungry.


Outline


Intro
Are you starving? Do not wait for your mom, and make your own ramyon
First body
Materials, equipments
Second body
Put the pots over a fire
Third body
Put ramyon into the pot and sauce to the other pot
Fourth body
Stir sauce & noodles
Fifth body (Conclusion)
Take out the water in the pot that had noodles in and put the noodles to the pot that has
soup

Poems Portfolio

All the poems I have written are dedicated to my dearest love, Jamie, and my prettiest friend Minj, who is always there for me.

Preface

I used to kind of avoid writing because I liked math more than writing. However, in writing class, I had to write poems. Since I had to express ideas in limited words, I had to concentrate hard to convey my idea. The place I found that helped me concentrate on writing poems is restroom, actually. It might sound weird, but it really is a best place for me. It is because I can not fall asleep since it is cold in there, and it is also because it is uncomfortable to sit on a toilet. Thus, it makes me be able to not fall asleep but concentrate on writing poems. My most inspired work is a doorway poem. It is because I liked the format of the poem because it was to contrast two ideas. I thought of two distinctly different characteristics. And I concluded it to be myself because I am both negative and sometimes positive toward my life. And since I could feel that right when I wake up, I started writing about how I felt.

When teachers leave good comments on what I have written, I am very inspired to keep on writing. Also, some comments that tell me what I need to work more on also inspire me because now I am clear what I need to do. When I am sure what I am good at and what I need to work more on, I am inspired. I am also inspired when I got fairly good grades because the grades show me how far I have reached. Things I value in the writing process are pre-writing, revising. I value pre-writing because it is the very first step of starting to write something, because it is time to have all the ideas that I want to put in the writing work, and because I never have to worry about getting sentences grammatically correct or sentence fluency, or about being consistent with my thesis in one paragraph. I also value revising because it is the part where I now need to organize my thoughts into particular categories. I also think revising is one of the most important parts of the writing process because it is a part to put voice in the writing. There are a lot of things I have learned in this class. The five things we have learned so far are ideas, organization, voice, word choice, conventions. The knowledge of word choice and voice helped me use thesaurus more than usual to have more powerful verbs to picture the image better. Knowledge of conventions made me check if I am consistent with my verb tense. It also made me use grammar check in word document. Knowledge of organization and ideas helped me revise my writing once more to check if I have a paragraph with only one specific topic. From this class, I think I improved my writing skills a lot.

I am…

Twisting
Snoring loudly
Slobbering and rolling
In a car with my mouth open
Sleeping


In a soccer field...!!

Imbalanced drum sound and screaming
Pervade my ear

The closer the ball gets to the goal
The more, higher I shout

Still stick my eyes to the ball
No sound distracts my concentration

The ball eventually penetrates the goal
I leave my mouth open
Leap and jump as high as I could

Shout hoarsely till my throat burns


No poems please

Has too much meaning in a few words like a proverb
Have too many implications I need to think of that I never even realized
Have too many things that make me think just like when I fell in love
Is too short to even read and think about
Feels like I am playing hide and go seek with the hidden meaning in a poem

But Draws an image in my mind
Feels like I figured out the answer of a riddle when I understood the implications
Fun once I understand like funky music
Fun to read out loud as the words rhyme
Fun to look at as an image Fun to try to write one


A doorway in my mind

I live in a doorway
Between the two rooms
A cacophony of an alarm clock irritates me
Wake up in the morning, tired
Apathy fills my body
No energy to open eyes
Pull my bedclothes over my head
Turn my body away from the window
Trying to avoid the light
Sound of rain tapping the window
Never stops but annoys me forever
Inevitable get up with a deep sigh
Negative

A harmony of a clock reveals it is bright morning
Open my eyes, breathing fresh, cold air in
Wake up in the morning vigorously
Passion fills my body Kick the bedclothes out
Stretch my body with joy
Till my arms could reach the ceiling
Glare at the window Sun shines on me
Get up with enthusiasm
Positive


A shortcut to death

You must quit right away
You get addicted once you breathe
The ones you have need to be taken away
It bugs you, leads you to death

You get addicted once you breathe
Isn’t the smell bothersome?
It bugs you, leads you to death
Does it feel awesome?

Isn’t the smell bothersome?
The smoke darkens your lung
Does it feel awesome?
Your precious life would not last long

The smoke darkens your lung
Is it comfortable?
Your precious life would not last long
Once you started it, your life will be unstable

Is it comfortable?
The ones you have need to be taken away
Once you started it, your life will be unstable
You must quit right away

peer assessments

Sound
The message the writer Mr. Bock has written is pretty clear, concise, fairly well focused. However, the writer needs to be consistent with the type of poem and should focus more on it. The writer needs to have more ideas that could describe the sound in a soccer field. The topic itself is not bad, but the writer needs to have more illustrations and description of how it sounds. The writer does not make errors that are so noticeable that they even distract readers to read. Yet, minor mistakes are sometimes seen and need to be fixed. Although the mistakes do not make the whole writing vague, but better grammar and conventions will help the writing look better. Punctuations are not bad as the writer keeps the tense as present tense. The writer needs to organize the writing a bit. Although the pattern is appropriate for genre, topic, and purpose, better organization will help understand the image of the poem surely. The reader can follow along or locate key information without undue difficulty. The voice of the writing seems like the part the writer definitely needs to work on. The writer needs to bring more interesting and powerful verbs to illustrate a clearer picture. The paper does not stand out from others. Descriptive adjectives and adverbs will be helpful to the writing. The writer has some knowledge of the topic but more would create needed confidence. Word choice is also a part the writer does need to work more on. Harder and more in-depth words are in need. In order to make the writing better, the writer needs to have more words that describe the sound specifically. The writing is clear inmost cases. Language is appropriate for purpose and audience. But more creative word choice is needed to improve the writing. Despite a bumpy moment or two, it is fairly easy to read this piece. Sentences show some variety but more is needed. More words that describe the image or the sound of a soccer field with fluent sentences will make the writing awesome.

List
The writer has pretty good and interesting ideas, but better organization and more descriptive words are needed. Message makes sense. The main idea, thesis, story line is pretty easy to identify, fairly well-defined. More ideas are needed also. More creative ways of presenting the ideas would have also helped improve the writing. Not many mistakes are easily seen, but some mistakes need to be fixed to improve the writing. The impact of those errors on the text is insignificant. The writer shows control over numerous conventions. Punctuations are not bad also. The organization pattern is appropriate for genre, topic, and purpose. The structure is pretty interesting as putting “but” in the middle of the poem. It serves as a transition word. The word changes the mood from negative to positive side. Two distinct different parts are well compared as putting one word as a stanza. The reader can follow along or locate key information without undue difficulty The writing does not stand out from others besides that it has an interesting word in the middle by itself making a stanza. There needs to be more descriptive words such as powerful verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. They will help improve the quality of the writing since it makes clearer and more specific ideas and images. The writing needs to be more appealing to keep readers reading. The writing is a functional, sincere voice. The writing is clear inmost cases. However, better words could have been chosen in order to help the writing make better. The language is appropriate for purpose and audience. As mentioned before, more descriptive words need to be chosen, so the writing could have more interesting pictures. The writing does not lack image, but the image is not clear enough to some readers. Sentences are fluent except some minor errors. Those errors need to be fixed to make the writing smooth. The writing is quite easy to read. But some sentences need to be varied, adding to the voice, in order to prevent reader getting bored with all the similar sentences. Maybe transition words could help make the writing even more fluent.

Pantoum
Message is clear, concise, fairly well-focused. It can also be summarized. The ideas should have been expressed with more images. The writer should dig deeper and think harder. The writer should describe why smoking is bad or why he or she should quit smoking. More description and details would be helpful. Punctuations are not bad as keeping up with one tense. A few errors are noticeable if looking at the errors closely. Errors are not significant. Despite some slips, the writer shows reasonable control over most conventions. The writing pattern works for this genre, topic, and purpose. Also, the writing correctly follows all the rules such as rhymes and patterns. However, sentences should be more closely related to each other to organize the writing better. The reader can follow or locate key information without difficulty. The writing does not stand out from others. This piece is appropriately restrained or courteous. The most serious problem of this writing is that it lacks descriptive words such as descriptive verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. More descriptions are necessary to make the writing better. They will help picture clearer images. The writing is clear and often original. Word choice is not bad but better choices are pretty much essential to make the writing better. Some boring and repetitive words need to be replaced to more interesting words. They will help give personality. The writing is generally balanced. Sentences are pretty fluent. Sentences are varied, but still need some work.

Cinquain
The writer Eugene Bock is very clear on his ideas. His idea is very focus on the topic. The writer’s poem is very concise and gets straight to the point. It’s easy to summarize as well. He has a great depth of understanding of his poem. The story line is very clear and easy to determine or identify. Seeing as the writer’s poem is so short it doesn’t really have a sense of direction because it’s only five lines long. The writer’s poem is supported by his own experience I assume. The result of the poem is satisfying and it answers any questions the readers might have. The writer uses conventions very well with no errors that are noticeable. His conventions bring out meaning because it’s what people do when they are sleeping in a car. The writer seems to have control over his conventions. His conventions are outstanding. The writer’s organization is suited to the genre, topic, and purpose. The structure of the writer’s poem does guide the readers through the piece. The elements in the writer’s piece is just right for the readers. The transitions between lines I guess are some what smooth, but kind of bumpy if you know what I mean it’s not quite smooth The writer’s voice is functional and sincere. He might share just little moments aloud. The writer’s piece has a balance between honesty but… not so much passion. The writer has knowledge of the topic because it’s within experience. The writer’s writing is clear and precise it’s quite original as well. The language is suited to the writer’s purpose and the audience. The phrasing tends to be lively. The writer is balanced, not inflated or simplistic. The writer uses verbs to make his piece more alive and moving to see an image. Modifiers support meaning, voice and or imagery and they are never overdone.

Autobiographic
The poem Mr. Bock had written was pretty well-written. Message is clear and voice also good. Word choices were really fantastic! Difference between negative and positive seems to make a big definition through this. He supported the main idea with numerous details and they’re all fun. I can see only pickiest errors, but they don’t really matter the poem. The organization pattern is really good that connects the topic. I cautiously suggest him to give a better idea that helps readers to know that ‘I live in a doorway, between the two rooms’ can really connect the words for negative and positive His ending with comparing negative and positive is pretty good idea. His voices are really good that gives two strong ideas for his topic. His good word choices and descriptions made me more interested into the poem.

New year resolutions

New Year Resolutions!

Writing 1 Standards and Benchmarks

Standard 1. Uses the general skills and strategies of the writing process

In order to revise the paper better to have a more successful writing, my goal is to revise at least three times before writing a final draft through many persons. The methods I am going to use are color-coded edit, and peer edit. Maybe I can even get help from my teacher by coming after school.

Standard 2. Uses the stylistic and rhetorical aspects of writing

In order for me to use precise and descriptive language with a variety of sentence lengths, I set two goals; I will study synonyms and antonyms to be able to play around with the words I know so readers will not get bored by repetitive writing, and to try to vary the length of the sentences by scanning a passage again after writing it. The methods I will be using are reading a lot of books and study the words I don’t know, and practice to write sentences with different lengths at home to get used to it.

Standard 3. Uses grammatical and mechanical conventions in written compositions

To be a better writer I am going to try to have a straight and concise punctuation. To do so, I am going to read a lot of books and underline the verbs to see the patterns of the verb tenses. I will also check my passage when done with writing. I could also study DOL to improve my skills.

Standard 4. Gathers and uses information for research purposes

I am going to try to have a variety of sources of precise and detailed information to have a better writing. To do so, I am going to search on Google for appropriate websites, encyclopedia on internet and in a library, and some magazines if necessary.

Weighted Categories

The two traits I want to be focusing on are organization and sentence fluency because I am weak on those traits comparing to the other four traits. To organize my writing better, I am going to put some effort to scan a passage after writing each paragraph if it has a concise message and if they can be applied to my main thesis of the writing. I will try to delete the repetitive parts as I read my writing over
I will also work more on sentence fluency because I tend to miss some points writing fluent and clear sentences. I will try to read as many books as possible to learn many expressions that can help my writing improve a bit. Maybe I can get some help from American friends I have in dorm and they might be able to check and correct my piece of writing.